It's Valentine's Day. Whether you're the type of person who throws themselves completely into the day or dismisses it as a businesses' money making scheme, or maybe somewhere in between, you got to admit that it makes some sort of impact.

Personally, I am reluctant to buy things for Valentine's Day. I dislike giving away my money to buy presents on a day that has been exploited by shops for their own (money-making) purposes, and Valentine's Day isn't a real holiday, is it?

Well whether it is a 'real' holiday or not and worthy of acknowledgment is up for debate, but it seems to get that acknowledgment anyway. Today I got given an article to read in French class about the origins of the day! (In French of course.)

So I say take this day as an opportunity to make your loved ones days. Write messages to them, ask them to be your Valentine or just wish them a Happy Valentine's Day. The last one especially takes no effort, and is sure to brighten up someone's day.

I have had quite a few attempts at a headache/migraine diary in the short time since my headaches became serious and frequent.

First, of course, was the old 'write down on random bits of paper' attempt. I was by pretty much all the credible websites I could find that I should be recording all these different things like writing down what I ate, the medicines I took and how I was feeling in great detail.

This was a bit too much for me, a teenager that had just started my second last year at school with two subjects being accelerated, so from the last year of school. I thought it would be a bit much for many people. And who wants to think about how they're feeling in too much depth when they feel bad most of the time? I didn't.

Second attempt was an online version. It looked promising. Daily emails reminding me followed by a quick questionnaire. I also promised an analysis of patterns after a couple of months.

I stuck with this one for around 6 months. This method's downfall was that it was completely unsuitable for my situation. It promised an analysis when a pattern emerged, but the problem was that my migraines seem to have no particular pattern. The data was not presented in a particularly helpful way for me to look at it either. There was a calendar which was marked with a bit too much red to be helpful and a very long list of data that was not sorted too well. I concluded that this program was created for people with less frequent migraines than me.

I took a break from recording migraine information for the exam period in November and for my exchange trip in France. But in the meantime I had an idea for something small, compact, and with the dates all written on it...

A mini planner!

I bought it a few weeks ago and created a plan for what to write in it, and it seems to work fine for me.

Something like this:
 (Date already written)  woke:            bedtime:            
morning:        afternoon:        evening:        
breakfast:                    | (medicine written here with time taken)
lunch:                           |
dinner:                         |    <= (supposed to be a ruled line straight down)
snacks:                         | 

It is small and simple, and while it probably is lacking in some areas, I can always work that out for next years'.

And the most important thing... It looks pretty :)

It has been new year for almost a month now, so I suppose it is about time to put my resolutions in writing.

This year, I resolve, putting it simply, to take care of myself.

It's funny that such a simple idea can have so many angles, and be so hard to carry out. I find that while I can listen to my body if I try, things I want to do like having fun without thinking of the consequences get in the way. Now while there is nothing wrong with having fun, having fun at the expense of my health is usually not even worth it in the short term.

When I really think about it, I don't find these fun things all that fun anymore. So why do I do them? Because it's what everyone else is doing I suppose. All my friends are staying up late on the internet so I want to keep them company and chat on the internet. I get invited to an event that involves a bit more exercise than I can handle, but I don't say anything because I want to pretend that I feel completely fine. It is really all about people's ideas of what is normal for a girl my age and I am beginning to realise that the best thing i could possibly do for myself is stop caring about what someone might think, and do what I have to do to feel ok.

The next thing I've been trying to work out is how to make 'doing what I have to do' as easy as possible. Here is a list of a few ideas:
- carry a drink bottle around, even around the house.
- buy a pocket sized planner to make into a headache and migraine diary.
- get organised and work on never procrastinating.

My reasoning is that as I always forget to get a drink even when I'm at home, a drink bottle will remind me, and that to turn a ready made planner into a headache and migraine diary would be more convenient than having lots of sheets of paper. Getting organised is always desirable, and I really don't have enough time to procrastinate!

These resolutions are really works in progress; ideas that may change as I think about them more. But in my opinion this is more a good thing than a bad thing. Maybe a resolution that is a bit more fluid will last the year, instead of being given up on a month or two later.

Soon, I'm going on an exchange trip to France. Almost everyone I talk to is asking if I'm excited about the trip, and of course I reply with yes. But this is not the whole truth.

The truth is, that I'm looking forward to the trip with mixed feelings. I can't help think about what could go wrong. I will be spending 6 weeks away from family and friends with people I barely know. I will also have to speak in a foreign language which is tiring at the best of times. 

In these circumstances, getting a migraine would be... very inconvenient.

To try and prevent this I have formed a list of things I'm can bring with me that will help prevent or ease a migraine and just in general keep me happier:

- a cute face washer towel with a picture of tweety bird and a lamb on it
It's the perfect size to wrap an icepack in, and why not surround myself with cute things when I'm not feeling well?

- medicine
Self explanatory.

- cute pictures
Every little thing helps to make the day just that bit better.

- a (pretty) written reminder to pace myself
Speaking a foreign language is going to be difficult, so I need to make sure I especially take care of myself (even though I really should be doing this all the time).

- a collection of jokes in large print
The aim of this one is to improve my mood if it starts going bad, although usually when that happens I can't read stuff, large print or no large print, but why not include it just in case?

- stuff with sentimental value, like gifts that were given to me by really good friends
Things like best friends necklaces and handmade gifts- they always seem the most thoughtful.

Hopefully these things will make my holidays the best they can be, and I'll come back from France with many happy memories.

It's at the end of the exam period at my school. Today I got the results for one exam, during which I had a migraine, back and was surprised how much getting a worse than usual result saddened me.

Out of all the things that could upset me about getting migraines, I get upset about a B instead of an A. I don't get upset about the days wasted or not being able to tell if what I'm feeling is 'normal' or I actually have a fever. No, I get upset because I got 10% lower than usual.

It makes me wonder about my priorities. Do I really consider grades more important than general happiness?

When I thought about this for a while, I realised that it's really all interconnected. I love my way of thinking and concentrating intensely, thinking about things until they finally make sense. It is not just about grades for me. It makes me happy. I do it so much it is part of who I am.

For me enjoying life means learning and achieving and being curious about everything I see. Take that away and what will I be? Hopefully I'll never find out.



 

I had a school Presentation night recently. Having stayed up late-ish the previous night because my mum remembered at the last minute some computer stuff that she needed help with, I was lacking sleep on the day. Lacking sleep = migraine.

So I woke up with the attitude that this was going to be a horrible day. I got annoyed at the smallest things and didn't seem to care about the more important things, like having breakfast.

Needless to say, with that attitude I wasn't going to have a good day. After a bit I realised this and consciously started trying to socialise and have fun, but when that was no longer an option my mood plummeted very quickly.

What turned my day around was choir practise in the afternoon. Choir is a lot of fun and I love music. but what really made the difference was this youtube video our choir conductor showed us on her iphone. It was about a TV show where parents were challenged to tell their kids that all their halloween candy was eaten, and video the whole thing. I suppose it was kind of mean to be laughing at something that was upsetting these little kids, but it was so cute.

After that my day was fine. It still had its little challenges, but I succeeded through them and there is something so satisfing about that. That feeling of accomplishment definitely helped me through the day after. (Two late nights in a row are not ideal.)

The link to the video is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YQpbzQ6gzs